Thankful

In the first half of my life, I believed abundance would spark gratitude, but I’ve learned it’s lack that ignites thankfulness.

In winter, the harsh cold assaults the skin, muscles and joints, sending the body into spasms of shiver and clenching and chattering of teeth. And that’s just during the time it takes to walk the distance from under the warm duvet to run the hot water through the pipes and shower head! Pity the people who work outdoors! It’s that hot shower that soothes the aching cold. But in summer, we’re not so thankful for heat.

Or think of that first shower after a camping trip. Steaming water sprays over smoky, greasy hair. Shampoo lathers. Clear water rinses hair back to fresh and smooth. Dusty, sticky, smelly skin welcomes soap slipping, foaming, and the puff scrubbing and exfoliating until skin tingles fresh and clean. Your senses are keenly aware of these pleasures because you haven’t indulged for a week or more. But by the third day, most of us hardly notice the delight of a shower.

As a matter of fact, it took living in Kigali, Rwanda for me to notice the blessing of reliable running water. I never thought to give thanks for a hot shower until it wasn’t available on demand.

Not that living in Africa produced in me a thankful heart. It should have … so many gifts … fresh, sweet mangoes and pineapple, the kind that cause rivulets to run down your chin if you’re not careful. Tanzanian rice that is indescribable if you haven’t tasted it. My best effort is simply to say it tastes like rice was meant to taste. Avocado that makes Costco’s look like a dwarf variety, and carrots that taste like the ones from my childhood, pulled out of the garden, washed and eaten within the day.

Beyond food, Rwanda offered gifts of beauty, such as panoramic views of terraced hillsides, lush and green. Up close, purple, red, pink, yellow bougainvillaea shrubs juxtapose the smoothly paved or bumpy dirt roadways. Then purple flowering jacaranda trees, and birds of paradise. From the kingdom of creatures, the gifts included yellow birds called weavers and our resident lizard couple, the male shining green, purple and peacock blue in the tree beside our driveway. The night gifts included cooing doves, cricket symphonies and cool comfort. All these gifts failed to arouse thankfulness because I longed for cherries, blueberries, and peaches, big open spaces, a glimpse of the ocean, cranberries, turkey and snow.  And I missed my reliable hot showers on demand.

I needed someone to gently lift my eyes from the dirt path of discontent, to see the beauty of land and people all around me. Fortunately, my sister-in-law was just the person. She didn’t scold or reprimand. Instead, she gave me a gift that has revolutionized my life. The book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

Ann tells her story of how pain from a childhood trauma was crushing her soul. She stumbled upon the truth that Eucharist literally means “giving thanks”. Jesus invites us to the table, to participate in his suffering and his joy by taking the bread and the cup, and giving thanks.

“And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.’” If you read the story, you’ll see Jesus giving thanks in the shadows of his friend’s betrayal as well as his crucifixion.  As Ann expounds on the Biblical theme of thankfulness, she shows how practicing this discipline revolutionized her life.

This same truth is transforming my mind. As I battled depression in Rwanda, I discovered God’s will for me. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I’m not saying that giving thanks is a magical treatment for depression. I am saying that taking Ann Voskamp’s challenge, to log 1000 gifts, opened my eyes to the wonders all around me. I had missed them by locking my eyes in the deep rut of discontent.

Embracing the discipline of giving thanks daily, even when – especially when – I am miserable, still listing gifts in my journal six years later, began a long term transformation from frustration and self pity to thankfulness and joy. I, the chief complainer, am developing a thankful heart by giving thanks.

One afternoon this summer, I felt myself slipping into a funk. I heard myself complaining and blaming. I quickly told myself, out loud, “Stop it! Give thanks! What are today’s gifts?” I looked over at my daughter, who was grinning, trying unsuccessfully to stifle laughter.

This girl loves giving gifts. Every year she buys the gifts way too early, and then can’t wait until the special day! I’ve tried to teach her to delay gratification.

She handed me the birthday gift she bought a month early. I protested, but she insisted! For some reason, her delight was compelling. I opened the gift.

Inside a silver coloured box lay a stainless steel bracelet, with the word “THANKFUL” etched on it.

I wonder if she realized she’d given me a gift beyond the bracelet. My daughter, one of two people who see me at my worst, my best, my most real self, characterizes me as a thankful person! Me, chief complainer, known as thankful. The work, the discipline, the list has paid off. O the grace! Grace to Embrace Thankfulness.

Here’s my current thankfulness list, in hopes of inspiring you to create your own list. I’m limiting it to my five favourite gifts in five categories. A little cheating in the count may occur.

THE GIFTS

 

FALL FOOD

Chocolate zucchini muffins, with and without caramel icing

Pumpkin pancakes

Peaches

Apples grown in the Okanagan Valley, Canada

Roasted yams drizzled with coconut oil, sprinkled with rosemary and kosher salt 

AUTUMN ACTIVITIES

Cycling

Walking my dogs along the trees, dressed crimson and golden

Crunching leaves underfoot

Drinking a pumpkin spice latte with a friend

Journaling, reading or listening to music by the fire on a rainy day, near the warm glow of a coffee fragranced candle

 

FALL FASHION

Blue Jeans

Silver leaf earrings

Bohemian Boots

Hygge socken

Faux fur blanket

 

BEST BOOKS (READ IN 2018 – not all in autumn)

When Helping Hurts

Reading the Bible with Rabbi Jesus by Lois Tverberg

Spiritual Formation by Henri Nouwen

The Lake House by Kate Norton

Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

 

BEST LESSONS LEARNED

Keep praying.

Don’t give up – especially when you fail.

Ask people for help.

Don’t underestimate the significance of small things.

Forgiveness is the most precious gift – both received and given.

I’ve practiced the art of thanksgiving. Practiced like a pianist, over and over and over. In the practice, I’ve discovered that giving thanks will produce thankfulness in both lack and abundance.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

READING

Luke 22:14-19; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; Philippians 4:4-7, 12-13

PONDERING

What gifts can you see, hear, touch, smell, taste today?

What intangible gifts are you thankful for? What are the subtle gifts hard to see, perhaps wrapped in pain?

You’re invited to create your own thankful list and share it with our Grace to Embrace community.

Read Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts, and journal 1000 gifts.

VOSKAMP, ANN. ONE THOUSAND GIFTS: a Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. ZONDERVAN, 2015.

HEADER PHOTO BY RACHEL FITZ