Anguished Thanks

Thanksgiving. Really? How? How can the seasons continue when your heart is ripped with grief? How does your heart keep beating when sorrow steals your breath?

The summer of sorrows passes. Fall creeps in. Like scarlet creeps into green leaves. And now it’s October. I see the pumpkins on my porch. The wreath regals my door. I sip a pumpkin spice latte. On Saturday mornings, we eat pumpkin pancakes with maple syrup. Pumpkin loaf bakes in my oven. 

But giving thanks? How? 

The Table of Thanksgiving

Ann Voskamp writes “One Thousand Gifts” to answer this question. She begins with one Greek word, Eucharisteo. If you have a Protestant church background, or no church background, you may not realize that “Eucharist” is what Protestants call “Holy Communion.”  It’s the “Table of Thanksgiving.” 

“The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, ‘This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.’ In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

For some of us, this passage is so familiar, we’ve become deaf and blind to the words.  “On the night he was betrayed… and when he had given thanks …” (1 Corinthians 11:23.) 

Betrayal. Giving thanks.  

Together.  

This bread and cup, the body and blood of Jesus, the foundation of our faith, was built upon the greatest betrayal. Never was more innocent blood betrayed. But Jesus gave thanks. He gave thanks that his body would be broken. He gave thanks that his blood would be shed.

And yet he begged, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.  Jesus dreaded the cross with such anguish, he sweat drops of blood. (Luke 22:42-43)

Apparently thankfulness and anguish go together.

Paul said it too. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.) 

Practicing Thankfulness

This is a hard thing to do. It requires much practice, kind of like learning to play piano.  As a kid, I hated practicing piano I believed accomplished pianists could sight read with perfection. However, each time I was assigned a new piece of music, it sounded terrible.  

When I took lessons again as an adult, I realized that I could learn to play beautifully. I just had to practice. A song that sounded terrible to begin with, became musical as I practiced, following my teacher’s instructions. 

When I mastered one song, I was assigned another, more complex and challenging.  Again, in the beginning stages it sounded unpleasant, but by faithfully repeating the hard bits, I would learn and finally master the song.

I’ve been practicing thankfulness for seven years now. The pieces I’m practicing today are much more difficult than those from seven years ago. Some days the song sounds really, really bad. Sometimes I have to practice the same bit over and over and over again. Honestly, on some days, I have a bit of a hissy fit and refuse to practice at all. 

But my Teacher is patient and kind. He keeps saying, “Try it again. Don’t give up. It’ll be worth all this effort in the end. Trust me.”

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)

The eternal glory is the concert, the culmination of all this practice. Giving thanks is the practice. Joy is the glory which seeps into our suffering today, promising great, glorious joy in eternity.

 

The song, “This is how I Fight my Battles” sums it up for me.

 

There’s a table that You’ve prepared for me

In the presence of my enemies

It’s Your body and Your blood You shed for me”

I believe You’ve overcome

And I will lift my song of praise for what You’ve done

This is how I fight my battles

This is how

In the valley I know that you’re with me

Surely Your goodness and your mercy follows me

My weapons are praise and thanksgiving

This is how I fight my battles

I believe You’ve overcome

And I will lift my song of praise for what You’ve done

This is how I fight my battles

This is how

It may look like I’m surrounded but I’m surrounded by You

This is how I fight my battles

This is how

Surrounded ( Fight My Battles ) – UPPERROOM – YouTube

 

2019 Thanksgiving List

• My husband, Mark, whose name means Warrior. We fight this battle shoulder to shoulder.
• My daughter, Rachel, whose name means “God’s lamb.” She is my precious treasure.
• Community that prays.
• Friends and family who keep on listening, caring, grieving and hoping.
• The Psalms that make space for deep sorrow, fear, anger, despair, hope and thanksgiving.
• Rain. The grey sky weeps with me.
• Sun. The blue sky reminds me that brighter days will come.
• Autumn. It reminds me to look at the trees. We are rooted and established in love.
• The Cross. His broken body, his shed blood are enough.
• The Tomb. Our REDEEMER LIVES! 

Bible Reading

1 Corinthians 11:23  |   Luke 22:42-43  |  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  |  2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Additional Posts on this Theme:

THANKFUL