My Friend, Hygge (Part 1)

The trees are ablaze with golden and crimson leaves here on the west coast of Canada but our basking and boasting can’t last. My yellow raincoat, black rain pants and an array of hats and toques hang ready, reminding me that I won’t melt in the coming rain. Truly, I can walk outside during our wet coast winter.

 

To secure my indoor happiness, I have an arsenal of books, reading socks, simmering soup and candles. Apple, pumpkin spice, and coffee fragrance candles fill my home. The dark days of winter are coming and nothing will stop them.

That’s why I need Hygge.

I’m generally skeptical of trends. However, every generalization has its exception.  When I became aware of the Hygge trend, I didn’t have to think about it. I was all in. In fact, I was into Hygge before it broke Denmark’s border and became international.  

If you haven’t embraced hygge, you’ll need a little background information. First, it’s pronounced “Hoo-geh.” The Danish word hygge (according to Wikipedia), comes from a Norwegian word meaning ‘well being.’

The Danes claim Hygge as a vital element to thrive through the dark winter months that dominate the calendar in the northern hemisphere. While hygge includes a cozy atmosphere with candles, faux fur blankets, and ideally a fireplace, the concept includes so much more. According to Meik Wiking, a happiness researcher, there’s a hygge manifesto which includes ideas such as presence, harmony, comfort, gratitude and more.

When I spotted The Little Book of Hygge, I immediately bought it because I recognized Hygge as a dear old friend. A friend with history, and even drama. I’ll share our story over the next three blog posts.

I grew up near Edmonton, Alberta where the mercury frequently drops below minus 25 and occasionally plunges below minus 40.

When people asked me about my favourite season, my answer was winter. This prompted the following dialogue.

“Oh, do you ski?”

“Nope.”

“Do you do a lot of Skidooing?” (Translation for non-prairie folk – snowmobiling.)

“No.”

“Hockey?”

“No.”  

“Then why is winter your favourite season?”

It was because of Hygge although I didn’t know her name then.

As I grew up in a farming family, spring, summer and fall were busy and intense seasons.  First the seeding of wheat and canola; then the massive garden (where we kids were involved.) Then stressing over the elements. Too much rain. Not enough rain. Rain at the wrong time. Then came harvesting, preserving and pickling.

And when that last field was harvested, the potatoes dug and placed in the root cellar, our family would settle into a slower, winter routine. And best of all, my Dad was home early. 

Some of my favourite childhood memories are winter evenings when my dad was laying on the living room carpet, listening to music in the dark. As a very small child I remember often crawling on his back. Once, he suddenly rose to his hands and knees and was off like a shot, galloping around the living room, me hanging on for dear life, squealing with delight!

It was my dad’s presence that made the dark, cold, winter evenings wonderful.  Warm. Cozy. Hyggelig. When my dad was home, our family felt more peaceful. My sisters and I shouted less, fought less. Listened better to our mom. My dad’s presence brought a second element of Hygge to our family. Harmony.

How did Hygge and I have a falling out? I married a man who grew up in a very busy pastoral family. For Mark’s family, Hygge was all about cinnamon buns and chocolate chip cookies (no complaints there), and having people over for dinner. All the time! Stillness and slowness were not a part of Mark’s family culture. So, as a couple, we needed a bit of fine tuning. Our harmony was slightly off key, and the result was cacophonous.    

A few months after we got married, Mark and I began working our first church jobs, The pace was fast, busy, and my biggest complaint, was, “It’s never winter. There is no slow season. We never have time to just lay on the floor in the dark and listen to music.”  Cinnamon buns and cookies and lots of people all the time aren’t working for me.  Hygge – you’ve let me down!

I had little time to pray or read my Bible. I felt too tired to spend time with God, and felt guilty as a result.

But then came my first winter of the soul.

Infertility.

It grew dark and thick, like fog. A rhythm of hope rising, then crashing into disappointment.

I discovered that the only way for me to survive this long, dark winter was to spend time with Jesus. Stillness, reading the Bible and praying became the most important part of my daily routine. Instead of guilt driven, my relationship with God became survival driven. The words of Isaiah stand out from that long winter of my soul. He described what I was experiencing.

“He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”

Because I was waiting, waiting, waiting for a child, the word “wait”
jumped out at me. I searched out its origin from the Hebrew language and discovered that the Hebrew word “qavah” could be translated as follows:

• to wait, look for, hope, expect
• to wait or look eagerly for
• to wait for, linger for
• to bind or knit together

One source suggested the binding together could be similar to the process of twisting a rope.  

I began to see that by sitting restfully in God’s presence with a listening posture, by having Hygge with Jesus, I was “binding, twisting” or braiding my presence with Christ’s presence. God’s presence and therefore his strength was the source of strength in my weary waiting. My faith grew more secure; my soul grew more sturdy in the waiting, braiding, knitting process.  

Infertility, as painful and dark as it was, became God’s gift to me. Infertility was my first dark, bleak winter where I hunkered down with God. Learning to wait on God, waiting for God, allowing my spirit to be braided with God’s Spirit. I learned to listen and hear God speak. Being present with God, God was present with me.

My journal. Candles. Hygge.  

As I hung out with God, my Father in heaven, (not that much different from hangin’ with my dad all those cold winters as a kid), I discovered that just being together with him was enough to restore harmony to my soul.

God did not miraculously allow me to conceive. The dark disappointment did not disperse. But I had candle light and knit socks to comfort my soul in the dark.

Hygge and I restored harmony, and once again, winter was my friend.

BIBLE READING

Isaiah 40:26-31; John 15:13-15; Ephesians 5:25, 31-32; Isaiah 66:13, Psalm 57:1;

Ruth 2:12

PONDERING

Not everyone is blessed to enjoy their dad’s presence. If you have had a painful relationship with your dad, connecting with God as Father may not feel safe or helpful. Think of him as friend, lover or even mother. Each of these images is also used in the Bible to describe God’s heart for his people.

Have you had a winter of the soul? Did you experience God’s Presence in that season?  What did that look like for you? Perhaps your soul is in a dark, cold place right now. What events led to this soul winter? Name them and grieve them.

What is something you are waiting for?

Where in your life do you need harmony restored?

God’s Presence is the essence of your life. What are some strategies you can implement today to embrace God’s Presence in whatever season you find yourself?